


Dean Winchester Does a Couples Test

by stardust_made



Series: The College AU [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Epistolary, Humor, M/M, Slash, Wincest - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 05:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3679668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_made/pseuds/stardust_made
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean answers 50 questions to 'create better love'. Screw that, if you ask him, but a lost bet is a lost bet. Mostly crack with a few touching truths hidden in there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean Winchester Does a Couples Test

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Canon_Is_Relative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canon_Is_Relative/gifts).



> A very happy birthday to the Sam to my Dean - my dearest friend canon_is_relative.♥ ♥ ♥ I hope this amuses you and we role play later today, in College AU birthday tradition! Just a heads up that I've added a few in-jokes meant mostly for the two of us, but they don't spoil the piece. I imagine this takes place a few years after the end of 'Catch Me...'. Not that it matters for a piece that's totally tongue-in-cheek, but I actually did go into College AU!Dean's headspace.:)

**50 relationship questions to create better love**

_Sit down with your partner on a lazy Sunday afternoon, ask each other these questions and have an open mind. To make it easier for your partner so they don’t assume any of these are trick questions, you answer first so they know your views too._

Just for the record, the only thing that’s making me give this a pass is that the website is called Lovepanky.com  
  
And I’m never falling for that trick again, what kind of a stupid bet is getting a wish? WHAT KIND OF A WISH IS MAKING ME DO COUPLES TESTS, SERIOUSLY DUDE!!!

 

_Don’t let any questions annoy you and don’t ever clam up or go on the defensive. Remember, the answers to these questions should be truthful and help both of you understand each other better._

Oh well if you put it like that. I’m all kinds of relaxed now.

 

_And by the time you’re done with the questions, you’d know more about each other and would also understand each other’s approach to life too._

I know all there is to know about you, Sam. And your ‘approach to life’. Who even talks like that?

 

 _[Read:[How to be a happy couple that’s envied by all other couples](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/how-to-be-a-happy-couple)_ _]_

Yeah no, I still prefer other couples didn’t know we were a couple, thanks!  
  
Wait, do I have to comment on those too? I’m gonna, just in case you said I didn’t play fair and made me do another one.

 

 **_#1_ ** _What is the ideal number of calls a couple should exchange in a day?_

That depends on what job we’re working. I’m thinking unlimited, if one of us is locked up somewhere and about to be sucked out of his juices. I mean that ghoul last month meant business, let me tell you making 15 calls to you was no trouble!!

 

 

 ** _#2_ ** _Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?_

My happiness IS the success of the relationship. Or the other way round. Is this a trick question?

 

 

 ** _#3_ ** _What’s your idea of a romantic vacation?_

Taking off with Baby on a nice long ride with my baby boy next to me. Wasting a nasty son of a bitch, then going to that cabin in the woods with the hot tub at the back, where we went last year for my birthday, that was awesome, Sammy, you’re the best!

 

 

 ** _#4_ ** _What’s the single most important thing for a relationship to be successful?_

I’m sorry I didn’t know this was an actual test where you had to write long ass essays! So what, if I can’t put it in words I fail and I can’t ‘create better love’? Screw that, I ain’t playing.

 

 

 ** _#5_ ** _What would you define as cheating?_

Avoiding answering this question because the word cheating has more than one meaning? See what I did there?

 

 

 ** _#6_ ** _If I cheated on you, would you ever forgive me?_

 _Read:[Forgiving cheating and the game egos play](http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/naughty-affairs/affairs-in-a-marriage)_ _]_

I don’t like this test. Or its stupid links.

 

 

 ** _#7_ ** _Would you ever say sorry to me even if it’s not your fault?_

What is this, 50 questions to pry you open and make you wanna stab yourself in the leg?

But yeah, I would. Even if I don’t like saying sorry. Even when I probably should say it because it’s my fault.

 

 

 ** _#8_ ** _Are you friends with any of your exes?_

Wouldn’t exactly call it friends…does helping her out with a possessed murderous truck count?

 _[Read:[Does your boyfriend speak to his ex all the time?](http://www.lovepanky.com/women/dating-men-tips-for-women/does-your-boyfriend-speak-to-his-ex)_ _]_

This just proves what morons think up these tests. Like, do they think everyone’s life is like some freaking Hallmark Christmas movie? How about some people’s exes are dead, douchebags! That too real for you to consider before you put in questions that bring back bad memories? Nice going!

 

 

 ** _#9_ ** _How should finances be planned between a couple?_

Sammy should plan them because he’s the brains of this operation. But sometimes he should listen to people older than him. How is a beer pong table not a priority??

 

 

 ** _#10_ ** _Do you think celebrating Valentine’s Day is corny?_

YES.

But sometimes it’s forced on you and you can’t do anything about it, you kinda go with it cause you don’t want to upset the other person and it’s a good thing I know Sam’s a sap, that means last year I was prepared with a gift and surprises too!

 

 

 ** _#11_ ** _What was your first impression about me?_

Very small and kinda intense, you kept staring at me even though your eyes were funny. Lots of hair, an ominous sign for things to come, I should have known.

 

 

 ** _#12_ ** _Can you avoid flirting if someone attractive flirts with you when I’m not around?_

Of course I can. Should I avoid it is another question and I gotta be honest, there’s no harm in flirting sometimes, guy needs to make sure his flirting mojo doesn’t get rusty, right? Plus it’s a legit way to get people to spill and tell you stuff, which can be the difference to a life and death situation, so screw you, test people, for not thinking outside the box!

 

 

 ** _#13_ ** _Do you think romantic gifts have to be memorable or do they have to be useful?_

I don’t think about romantic gifts, period.

 

 

 ** _#14_ ** _How would you want to spend a special day with each other?_

Every day I spend with you is a special day, Sammy.

 

 

 ** _#15_ ** _What is the most special memory of us that you hold?_

You know it.

 

 

 ** _#16_ ** _If I told you to jump off a tall cliff and tell you that you’ll land safely because there’s a net you can’t see yet, would you blindly trust me and jump?_

 Yes.

   
  


**_#17_ ** _Do you have to know all of my friends?_

Dude, I actually wish I could unknow some of them, like that guy in New York with the blue eyes and the smile and the stupid three piece suits and those funny hats, who the hell is that good-looking?!! I’m telling you he was a siren! And his bald nerdy friend and the FBI agent, I don’t care how much you all liked talking conspiracy theories, they were weird, dude! Yeah, an FBI agent and a convicted conman are besties! Baldy thought my car was wired by some secret society that had something to do with Kennedy’s murder, do I need to go on?! Thank fuck we only stayed there for a few months.

Oh and don’t get me started on that buckets of crazy in London! I like John though, John’s good.

   
  


**_#18_ ** _Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden?_

All I’m gonna say is that secrets are a funny thing.

   
  


**_#19_ ** _Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?_

No, but I know you do.

 _  
[Read:[Should you really ever confess to cheating?](http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/naughty-affairs/should-you-confess-to-cheating-on-your-partner)_ _]_

These people are obsessed with cheating.

 

 

 ** _#20_ ** _Is it fine for a partner to use the toilet with the door open?_

No! There are some lines that are not meant to be crossed!

 

 

 ** _#21_ ** _After a break up, would you ask for your gifts back/would you give back all the gifts?_

I don’t like this test.

 

 

 ** _#22_ ** _Which love song best describes our relationship?_

Nothing else matters.

 

 

 ** _#23_ ** _Describe your perfect man/woman that you would like to date._

Go look yourself in the mirror, I’m not wasting my key strokes.

 

 

 ** _#24_ ** _In a relationship, what would make you feel happier, sharing or sacrificing?_

Sacrificing. _  
_

_[Read:[What is unconditional love really?](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/what-is-unconditional-love)_ _]_

Sorry, can’t teach me anything about that I don’t already know.

 

 

 ** _#25_ ** _Would you lie to make me happy and where would you draw the line?_

Yeah, I would. I don’t know where the lines are with you sometimes.

 

 

 ** _#26_ ** _What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?_

Feeding each other from each other’s plates, if he wanted fries he was gonna get them for himself or at least let him steal them from your plate! Gooey eyes, sugar plum and sweetie pie bullshit, the whole shebang.

 

 

 ** _#27_ ** _Who would you prefer as a partner, a good looking person or an extremely clever person?_

Lucky for me, I got both in one package. Take that, stupid test!

 

 

 ** _#28_ ** _How do you vent out your frustrations in a relationship?_

You can answer that better than me.

 _  
[Read:[The right way to fight fair in a relationship](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/how-to-fight-fair-in-a-relationship)_ _]_

There’s a wrong way to fight fair in a relationship? Dude, this is an hour of my life I’m never getting back, you owe me big!

 

 

 ** _#29_ ** _When was the last time I came in your dreams?_

I’m always making you come in my dreams, Sammy, you look damn hot too. You can slap in that smirking smiley right here.

 

 

 ** _#30_ ** _If we went to a store to buy a couch and both of us liked different couches, would you still go with my pick?_

Probably, cause you’re the freak that’s ten feet tall.

 

 

 ** _#31_ ** _Is sex about constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?_

When have we ever played by the rules?

 _  
[Read:[Top 50 kinky ideas for a sexy relationship](http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/passion-pill/50-kinky-ideas-for-a-sexy-relationship)_ _]_

Finally something worth reading!

 

 

 ** _#32_ ** _How often would you want to go out on a date with me in a month?_

I live with you, dumbass.

Oh wait, is this like I’m a selfish asshole who takes you for granted? Don’t do that, Sam, just say what you want and you got it, don’t make me figure stuff out, ok?

 

 

 ** _#33_ ** _What is your biggest sexual turn off?_

No dogs in the room while we’re doing it.

 

 

 ** _#34_ ** _What do you find sexiest about a person of the opposite sex?_

This test is homophobic, just saying.

 

 

 ** _#35_ ** _What’s your wildest sexual fantasy that you’d want to try with me?_

How about I surprise you tonight? This could be my reward for doing this.

 _  
[Read:[Top sexual fantasies for men](http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/fantasy/sexual-fantasies-for-men)_ _and[top sexual fantasies for women](http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/fantasy/fantasies-for-women-top-ten-female-fantasies)_ _]_

Links are getting better.

 

 

 ** _#36_ ** _Would you feel insecure if I spent a lot of time at work?_

Depends on which kind of work we’re talking about here. I guess 'no' goes for either.

 

 

 ** _#37_ ** _How many sexual partners have you had in the past?_

Thanks to this test I’m beginning to think I shouldn’t answer this kind of questions, honesty is overrated.

 

 

 ** _#38_ ** _If you were convinced that I was making a bad decision, what would you do about it?_

Honestly? Stop you, whatever it takes.

 

 

 ** _#39_ ** _Do you like babies/how many kids would you like to have someday?_

What the hell?

 

 

 ** _#40_ ** _When was the last time you disliked me?_

Just now!

 

 

 ** _#41_ ** _If someone attractive exchanges glances with you at work, would you tell me about it?_

I don’t know, I guess if it comes up?

 

 

 ** _#42_ ** _What’s the craziest thing you’d be willing to do for me?_

I don’t want to talk about it.

 

 

 ** _#43_ ** _What kind of a parent do you think you’d be?_

Seriously?

 

 

 ** _#44_ ** _When do you think a person is ready for marriage?_

Do you wanna bet how many couples broke up after one of the people was made to do this test?

 _  
[Read:[How to know if he’s ready for marriage](http://www.lovepanky.com/women/how-to-tips-and-guide-for-women/how-to-get-him-to-propose)_ _]_

I spoke too quickly, links suck.

 

 

 ** _#45_ ** _What’s the one thing about me you’d like to change?_

Take off a few inches, it’s making me look bad, Sam!

  
For real, nothing. I don’t want to change anything about you, not one thing. You’d better believe it too.

 

 

 ** _#46_ ** _In an argument, whose side would you take, me or your mother?_

Awkward…

 

 

 ** _#47_ ** _Would you relocate for love?_

Uh, YEAH.

 _  
[Read:[25 relationship rules for successful love](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/sweet-love/relationship-rules-for-successful-love)_ _]_

I’m not even clicking that, I’m going text that weirdo in London and tell him I now know what boredom really feels like.

 

 

 ** _#48_ ** _Would you be open to disclosing all your health issues to me all the time?_

No, are you nuts? What’s the point in freaking you out? And what am I, a Barbie doll?

 

 

 ** _#49_ ** _If you’re having a bad day, would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up?_

Both I guess. Depends on the bad day. But I never ever want you far.

 

 

 ** _#50_ ** _What’s more important, sexual chemistry or spending time together?_

Again, I don’t have to choose, we got both and I’m done because even I know you can’t choose between the two and if I’m smarter about this stuff than the people who put the questions together I’m outta here. Hope your wish was worth it, Sammy, payback’s a bitch though, just remember that!

 _  
[Read:[Perfect things to talk about in a truly perfect relationship](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/things-to-talk-about-in-a-relationship)_ _]_

Kill me now.


End file.
